Question: I am 27 this year. I graduated from the Keystone School. I have a stable job and a house in the provincial capital. I think I am good-looking (I was praised for being handsome in college). However, my social circle is too small and I cannot meet the right person. .
I have been on blind dates for more than ten times, and the requirements are not high. There is no requirement to be beautiful. All I need is to be above average and be able to look at each other, and have a stable job, but basically the woman refuses. In the past, we just accepted that my job was unstable. The most puzzling thing is that after I asked a girl out for dinner recently, I went back and asked her and she said she was not suitable. Through a matchmaker, I found out that she thought I had a good look, job, and family, but she was dissatisfied with how I treated others. , wtf, I have always been polite and enthusiastic when we met. I really don’t understand. Do I have to treat you like a princess?
By the way, the woman’s family conditions are average, from the countryside, she has a stable job, and her looks are acceptable.
Why do many blind date girls with average conditions have very high requirements?
Answer: It’s not necessarily that the girl on a blind date has high qualifications, because the reason why she rejects you may not be the truth, but may be a packaged excuse. When she talks about it, she seems to be high-minded, but you won’t hear it too much. Embarrassing, it’s easy to explain to the introducer. Moreover, even if she says whatever she thinks in her heart, everyone's perception of the same thing is biased.
Returning to the question, she feels dissatisfied with your "treating people", but you said, "I have always been polite and enthusiastic. ".
I think you are not talking about the same thing at all. The politeness and enthusiasm you mentioned should be the attitude towards her when we met. I am afraid it does not mean that you are good at dealing with people.
You two just had a meal, right? The way she talks about treating people may include many aspects, such as whether you asked her for her opinion when choosing where to eat or what to eat; whether she was generous when ordering and paying the bill; her attitude towards the waiter, etc. How she behaved on the day you met.
The most important thing is whether the content of your chat with her makes her think and feel uncomfortable. Many times it is wrong to say too much. In other words, when you talk endlessly, it is easy to expose your problems, and of course, it can also expose your strengths. But many times people tend to focus on the bad things and tend to ignore the good aspects.
For example, I had a meal with a friend before and ordered a piece of West Lake vinegar fish. She vomited after taking one bite and said it had an earthy smell. I think it's okay. After all, it's a specialty of that restaurant, and the sweet and sour taste suits my taste. Then I ate half of it with relish. She looked at me with her lips curled up and said, I even vomited but you can still eat it.
At that time, I felt that she was belittling my taste, and I didn’t know what purpose she had in saying this to show her superiority? Does it appear that she is picky and therefore noble? Does it make her look superior? Everyone has different tastes. I may not like what you like. Maybe I can accept what you can’t accept.Just accept it and take care of yourself.
And you really don’t have to say anything that sounds harsh or provocative, unless your emotional intelligence is too low and you speak regardless of the occasion. It's inappropriate; or you're deliberately trying to embarrass everyone.
Therefore, when a girl on a blind date rejects you, it is not because of your high demands. Could it be that during the chat, you expressed your views on certain things or some of your experiences, which made her think that you are stubborn? , don’t know how to adapt, don’t know how to chat, etc., etc., so what makes her think that you “don’t know how to treat people”?
In short, we can’t guess what her specific thoughts are, but you don’t have to worry about the reasons for rejection given by the other party. A person has an idea, but the person who is really suitable for you has not yet appeared. Come on.
