Chasing girls doesn’t mean you can succeed by persisting all the time. Sometimes you have to learn to let go and change goals at the right time. So when should you give up chasing a girl?
1. There is no substantial progress in the relationship for a long time
If it is a normal pursuit process, then during this pursuit process, you can obviously feel that the relationship between the two of you is constantly improving:
In the beginning, this person never came to chat with you. ——This person starts to actively interact with you——You can come out and play together——You can have a certain small amount of physical contact between you——The other person shows affection for you... This is what we call, pursuit Girls’ “progress bar”.
But if you don’t feel this progress bar for a long time and your relationship has been stagnant, then there is a high probability that there is only one possibility: this person simply does not want to develop further with you, so he has been Drag this progress.
Let me give you a dividing line: If you and a girl have been procrastinating for half a year without making any substantial progress, then it means that you two are basically out of luck.
Don’t make excuses for this person by saying “this person is slow to warm up”. Even if someone is slow to warm up after knowing you for half a year, there will basically be progress - you just haven’t attracted this person, so Only then will you think this person is cold, and only then will you think this person is slow and warm.
2. A lot of effort has been made
Of course, having positive feedback may not necessarily be a good thing. , because the purpose of our pursuit of a person is not just to "catch this person", we also need to consider the problems we will get along with in the future - so when you spend too much time and energy pursuing someone, you also need to consider what else to do. Do you want to continue pursuing it?
Having invested so much in the beginning, your standard for treating this girl cannot be lowered - because once you want to return to a normal state, the other party will think "you won't get it" "Cherish it", "You don't love me anymore", "You are cold to me"... The subsequent maintenance of this relationship will consume a lot of material and energy on your part, and will also be full of quarrels and conflicts.
3. Treat pursuit as a way to prove your worth
Many people are stuck in pursuit and cannot look back. , all have this problem: they tie their personal value to whether they can catch this person.
In other words, when they cannot pursue this person, they will be particularly painful, as if their own value has been denied and they have become a complete loser.
This is a very wrong mentality: everyoneYou have your own favorite and preferred types. Your failure to pursue this person may not be your problem. You just failed in your pursuit. Why should you label yourself a "loser"?
When you Because when you feel frustrated and anxious while getting along with this person, you should think carefully about whether you want to continue pursuing it.
When we like someone and want to pursue someone, we should want to make ourselves better, and our mentality should be positive. And when you are always in a state of low self-esteem and anxiety when pursuing this person, it means that your mentality is out of balance.
If you don’t stop pursuing the other person at this time, then you will become more worried about gains and losses in the next step, and want to get this person by any means - when you have such an idea, you You will gradually turn from love to hate this person: because you feel that this person is denying you if he is not with you.
