The case of a missing woman in Hangzhou a few days ago became the focus of discussion. Ms. Lai was brutally murdered by her husband Xu, which aroused the anger and regret of many people on the Internet.

Until the interview with Ms. Lai’s ex-husband was exposed, the trend on the Internet gradually became a little different.

It turns out that Xu and Ms. Lai were in a relationship before, and she only got together with her ex-husband after breaking up with Xu. Later, Xu inquired about the address of the arriving lady, and after getting in touch with her, the two quickly rekindled their old relationship. After the affair, Ms. Lai decided to divorce despite the objections of her husband and parents, and fell into the arms of the man who eventually killed her.

What is even more puzzling is that she and her ex-husband were in a period of booming career at that time, and this Xu Mou did not Qian Er has no room. She is willing to give up a good family and a successful husband just to be with a foreigner who has nothing.

Her original words were: This second marriage was to marry the love that had been lost, this time it was true love.

I originally thought I had found true love, but unexpectedly I ended up marrying the devil. I have to say this is an irony.

What’s interesting is that an insider revealed that Xu had engaged in domestic violence and threats against his ex-wife. It can be said that this Xu's character was not very good from the beginning. He destroyed other people's marriages and committed domestic violence, and even the things he did later, this is basically what a scumbag should look like.

With the voice of Ms. Lai’s ex-husband, netizens who have been paying attention to Ms. Lai’s whereabouts have experienced some twists and turns.

From the worry when the lady was reported missing, to the anger when the police announced the incident, to the emotion after the interview with her ex-husband was exposed, it was inevitable that some people would say "she deserves it".

We are not here to criticize her for cheating in her marriage, nor are we criticizing her for abandoning her family and being irresponsible. Pursuing first love and pursuing love is not wrong in itself, but I feel sorry that she fell into blind love and spent more than ten years and her life to see the true face of the devil.

Love is a sentimental act, but we must also remain rational enough in it. If you lose your sense of love, it may only take many years before you can recognize the true face of that person, and you may not be able to afford the price.

Only by loving rationally can you see clearly whether the other person is truly good to you. Otherwise, you will not know whether you are looking for the so-called true love in the garbage heap.

What kind of people are really good to you:

1. People who really respect you.

Some women are addicted to men’s sweet words and become obsessed withWhen a man gets in a car, he opens the door for him, lets him sit first when eating in a restaurant, and takes off his coat and puts it on himself when it's cold. This is how a gentleman behaves.

However, being a gentleman and respecting women are two completely different things. These behaviors can only represent that he is currently willing to pay some price to attract you, but cannot prove how he views you in his heart.

True respect does not depend on how well you do on the surface, but on these:

Ability to be equal Treat you properly;

I will not impose my opinions on you;

I will never make decisions for you without authorization;

Recognize your abilities;

Some so-called "gentlemen" may see you carrying a bag of rice one second, grab it immediately and help you carry it back, and then complain about how women are so weak the next second , this is not called respect. Such men do not regard women as equals to themselves in their hearts. In their eyes, women are always inferior to them.

Of course, women must also show enough respect for themselves during this process.

For example, some men think that girls are unreasonable, difficult to communicate, and cannot discuss problems properly. As a woman, if you really don’t reason with him and ask him to take the initiative to coax you when something goes wrong, and if you don’t coax him, he will show off his face and turn yourself into an unreasonable person, then don’t expect the other party to do it. I respect you.

2. Responsible people.

A few days ago, the teacher saw a topic on Zhihu, and the content was roughly like this.

The girl saw a cat that was kept alone outside by its owner. It looked very pitiful, so she asked her boyfriend to buy a ham sausage for her to feed the cat. But the boyfriend refused this request. He believed that feeding a strange cat without permission is likely to be scratched and bitten. Secondly, this is someone else’s cat, and the owner may not like you to do this. If there is a problem with the feeding, it will be even more troublesome.

The girl thought it was an excuse for her boyfriend to be stingy and reluctant to buy ham, and she was very angry. I thought about it again the next day, but my boyfriend still insisted not to feed it, stressing that it was someone else’s cat.

The girl couldn’t figure this out and didn’t understand why her boyfriend insisted on being stubborn with her.

In this case, the girl’s insistence on feeding the cat was simply not aware of the risks involved. But the boyfriend insisted on refusing, not because he was reluctant to part with a little money, nor because he was vindictive with the other party, but because he cared about her safety and didn't want her to get into trouble.

The boy’s behavior seems to be very incomprehensible, but if he gives in under the girl’s scolding and buys a ham sausage for her to feed the cat, it seems to satisfy her needs, but the result is It is very possible to bring unknown risks to her, which is irresponsible.

What is considered responsible and irresponsible in the relationship between men and women?The law can be generalized, but what is certain is that a man who is truly responsible for you is definitely not someone who will accommodate you everywhere and act like your good baby and obey your words. Rather, he will consider the risks and consequences for you, and know how to refuse when it is time to refuse. Only such a man can withstand the storm for you at the critical moment.

We must learn to protect ourselves in love. The prerequisite for protecting ourselves is to be a principled person.

Principles are the bottom line. If you don’t have principles, others can easily break through your defenses and do whatever they want.

For example, when you first meet a boy and he tugs at you and you don’t resist, he will think that you can do whatever you want, and he may do something even more extreme next time. If you flatly refuse, he will realize what he can and cannot do, and then he will know how to get along with you correctly.

Without principles and limits, you can only attract people who have ulterior motives. Only by adhering to principles and keeping your limits can you select people who are truly willing to treat you well.

Only when people love themselves first can others be willing to love you.