Question:

Hello tutor, I was on a blind date recently and met a girl I liked. We had a good chat. Later I found out that she was a very nervous girl who didn’t know how to take care of herself and got sick. She didn’t know how to buy medicine anymore, so I sent medicine to her house, but she said I didn’t need to do this because we had just met her not long ago. Later I found out that she didn’t eat breakfast, so I would bring her a breakfast when I had time, wait for her downstairs, and give it to her if I met her, but she still told me not to do this, for the same reason. Because, I think everyone said that to chase a girl, you have to be thick-skinned, so I kept treating her like this. I wanted to impress her with my actual actions. But recently, I don’t know why, but she has become very indifferent to me. Sometimes she won’t reply to her WeChat messages. How should I pursue a girl like this during a blind date?

Answer:

You made a lot of mistakes! Including incorrect processes, skipping many steps, and doing many out-of-bounds behaviors.

First of all, the process is wrong. Although you met on a blind date, you have to understand that a blind date is just a way to meet a girl. It does not mean that she will be your girlfriend after a blind date, and you can Doing these things unscrupulously.

The second thing is what you did to her, which is also wrong. As she said, you have only known each other for a short time. Under such circumstances, if you treat her crazily, it will not move her. , will only be counterproductive.

Then, I discovered that you don’t know how to chase girls at all. After reading your description, you think that if you chase a girl, you should treat her well, and then let her move, and finally you successfully left the single world. This is totally wrong! If you could make girls fall in love with you by being nice to them, there wouldn’t be that many single men in the world.

Finally, your series of actions that are good to her will put a burden on her, whether it is your kindness to her or your sincerity to impress her. An unequal relationship between the sexes is unhealthy. Your kindness to her will only bring pressure to her without any sense of comfort.

If you want to attract a girl, the first step is to establish a sense of comfort. There is no sense of comfort between you and her. Because you have always been nice to her, you have brought a lot of burden to her. You are too sincere and have done many nice things to her, but she is not ready to accept you. At this time, your kindness to her becomes a burden to her.

Your situation is like this. You were very kind to her, giving you medicine for a cold and breakfast in the morning. But as I said before, it is useless to be sincere enough to chase a girl and treat her well! You Expressing love, confessing, and being attentive will only become a burden to her and make her want to avoid you, so she will start to be indifferent to you.

Again, study the student course well! Take it step by step and start by establishing a sense of comfort, rather than crossing the line to be nice to her like you did at the beginning. This will only be counterproductive, and in the end you will only gain A good guy card.

You should know what the good guy card means, right? It means that you are nice to her, but she has no feelings for you. The good guy card means that you should get out. You should stop your current behavior immediately!

We have said that it is best not to confess your feelings when chasing a girl, but what you do is It's no different from confessing. If you treat her well like this, it means telling her: I like you very much and I can't help but want to be nice to you.

Exposing your needs in the early stage is a terrible thing, learn from it!

Once you expose your needs, you will be in a passive state throughout the entire emotional stage of the two of you.

1 You passively obey all the words of the girl.

　2 You passively obey all the girl’s conditions.

　3 You have to passively obey all the arrangements given by the girl.

　4 You have to keep bowing your head to the girl to admit your mistakes.

5 You passively give everything to the girl.

　6 Your passivity means that your time, energy, conditions, and emotions must be exclusive to girls.

So when you are in a passive position, then you will always be a few levels below the girl in the entire relationship.

The best state of love is that the two of you are at the same stage, that is, at the same level. You must not act like you must be the girl. Later, this will also become the reason for the girl to become more serious.

In fact, chasing the girl you like in the blind date process is like chasing a girl you just met. When you meet a girl, you find that you like her very much. Her, what would you do?

Chat for a day, confess your love, and give a gift. If you are rejected, continue to send a gift, chat for a day, and then confess your love?

< p> Okay, now that you have read this article, please throw the above process out of your mind into the trash can, because it is useless!

If you do this, it is equivalent to Tell the girl: I like you.

Do you think that after this, she still has any desire to challenge you? Will she always think about you in her mind?

So, please throw your thoughts into the trash!

If you want a girl to like you, you must fill her mind with yourself. Only when she has emotional fluctuations because of you, can you take root in the girl's heart and create ambiguity.

To do this, you need to learn to "detach."

Think about it, you finally asked her out, how would you arrange the date process?

Have a meal, watch a movie, take a walk, and spend six hours together. Seven hours, and then each went back to his own home?

Then he couldn’t wait to chat with her again before he even took a shower? Then he tried his best to continue inviting her?

Is this okay? Of course it is, but there are many brothers who can make a date the first time, but can never make a date the second time.

Why? Because she doesn’t have any lingering feelings for you.

Maybe some brothers can’t understand this. Here’s an example:

Everyone has read novels or TV series, right? If these works first tell you: who is the male protagonist? What happened to him in the end, who was the heroine, what happened to him in the end, who was the villain, what happened to him in the end...

Then the main film started to play, do you think you still have expectations for it?< /p>

If you already know the ending, then your interest in it will plummet, just like when you are watching a movie and someone spoils it, driving you crazy.

The same goes for getting along with girls. As long as it is a pretty girl, there will definitely be no shortage of men to chase her. If you ask her to eat, watch a movie, go for a walk, etc., other men will do the same.

If you do something without any sense of expectation, the girl will automatically classify you as a "boring man". In her mind, you are the same as other suitors, so how do you break through the encirclement? What?

Some brothers may say: Then I will take her to play something she has never played before.

That’s a good idea! It does differentiate you from other suitors, but you still can’t fill her head.

Which one will make you spend energy thinking about it: a happy ending or an ending full of suspense? It’s obviously the latter.

Because the former has filled in all the pitfalls, there is nothing to think about, while the latter is full of suspense, which are just things the author and screenwriter did to make you still remember it after reading it.

Have you seen Inception? The spinning top at the end? Still fresh in your memory, right?

Okay, now that you understand this, how should you pursue that girl on a blind date? Are you sure?