When a girl gets angry, many boys not only refuse to coax her, but also choose to reason with her. In the end, she is defined as a straight man, and some even get blocked directly.
Why can’t a girl reason with her when she is angry?
1. It is "emotion" "We are quarreling
In the eyes of many boys: everyone is highly educated, and they should be reasonable when they quarrel.
But you have to know that many times when men and women are reasonable, they are actually quarreling with "emotions". Most girls are emotional. It's like saying that a person doesn't like to eat vegetables, but you keep saying that vegetables are nutritious. It's delicious. Do you think the other party can listen to it?
Therefore, when a girl is emotionally unstable, if you use her emotions to reason with her, she will not want to listen.
2. Ignoring the girl’s feelings at the time
After a dispute with a girl, especially when a girl is angry, boys are used to thinking about problems in the long term, and their inner thoughts are:
The girl is angry. It’s just a joke. We have been together for so long and we will never break up.
I was so good to her before, so this quarrel will not affect our relationship. What impact does it have?
But many times girls only focus on the current feelings. They think that the kindness you treated me before is all in the past tense. The key is that you treat me well now.
Why is it so difficult to recover, especially after a girl breaks up? It actually has something to do with your situation at the time. Your deformed expression, rapid and ferocious voice, and arms waving around in excitement are all there. Like a girl, it shows that you no longer care about her and that you are no longer the one who calls her sweetheart affectionately.
Therefore, under normal circumstances, when we say "don't reason with girls", it is basically not the truth itself. Your reason is in the eyes of girls. It will all evolve into:
(1) The truth you mentioned contains the "emotions" that girls don't like: not knowing how to compromise, not being humble, and being selfish.
(2) You are destroying the goodwill you have established with your own hands, and you are destroying your relationship.
(3) Your reasons are not from the girl’s point of view, and you no longer care about her.
Since the truth cannot be explained, many brothers will say that I can admit my mistake, but when a girl is angry, you subconsciously say "I was wrong", which will make the girl think that you are hiding something from her. If more disputes are involved in the past, girls will subconsciously ask you if you know what you are wrong about, and where you are wrong. If you can't answer, you will be labeled as "perfunctory".
So, what should a girl do when she is angry?
When you have a dispute with a girl and she becomes angry, it is easy to be swayed by your emotions when trying to reason with her, and you may say wrong things and behave inappropriately.
The correct approach at this time is to remain silent when the girl remains silent, giving the other party time to cool down emotionally. When the other person breaks the silence and talks to you again, you have already taken a certain amount of initiative for yourself. If you discuss it with the other party at this time, you will obviously have more frameworks!
1. Make a deep review and break down the mistakes
Pull out the mistakes one by one and criticize yourself. Maybe you didn't quite hit the mark, but at any rate you have a high level of ideological awareness and a good foundation, which makes the girl feel that you value her. It even gave her a feeling of "earning"! For example:
"It's my fault, dear, I shouldn't have spoken to you loudly, especially this morning when I said good morning to you, I bought you breakfast. I even forgot to say good night to you last night. Just calm down, okay?"
2 , Diversion of girls’ attention
When quarreling with girls, it is difficult to solve the problem if you keep dwelling on the quarrel itself, so you directly transfer the problem to the direction of caring about the other person’s body, and no one will object to others. If you take care of your body, your Qi will naturally flow a lot. For example:
"Baby, I was wrong, please don't be angry, okay? When you are angry, you will easily get stomachache. Seeing you feel uncomfortable makes me feel so sad. I bought you yogurt. , for the sake of your health, can you forgive me?"
When you shift your attention to the impact of the quarrel on the other person's "body", you are actually paying attention to the other person's feelings.
