The first book is called "Communication of Love", written by Robert Gottman, professor of psychology at the University of Southern California and the famous "Pope of Marriage." In this book, the creator tested hundreds of couples and nearly a thousand pairs of lovers based on subsequent scientific research on couples' relationships over nearly forty years.
Exchange of Love
The first book is called "Exchange of Love", written by the University of Southern California Psychology professor and famous "marriage pope" Robert Gottman.
In this book, based on nearly 40 years of scientific research on couples' relationships, the author tested hundreds of couples and nearly a thousand lovers, and summarized a basic principle of the famous 'Five Wonderful Hours' Rule: Couples who spend less than five hours a week improving their married life have a more harmonious relationship.
What are you going to do in these five hours? In this book, the author lists many examples, although the way each couple spends these five hours in the case is different.
But in general, these 5 hours are used to communicate with each other, such as complimenting each other, talking to each other, and clearly expressing their views on something.
In addition, this book also introduces in detail what women need and what women think in several articles, which can help you understand how women feel in married life and help you understand your woman better. And understanding each other is an effective way to deal with problems.
In this book, the author also cited many examples, all of which are real. Each suggestion in the book is supported by certain test data and experimental conclusions. The feasibility analysis is very high, and the actual results are naturally very good. It is worth a look.
For example, in the chapter "Try to argue like a girl", the creator found based on experiments that men are more impulsive when quarreling. Once a man is engulfed by bad emotions, he will intensify the conflict to an irreversible level.
So the creator gave three suggestions to the men in the quarrel: first, take a deep breath, second, count, and third, rest for 5-30 minutes.
Those suggestions are all to ease your emotions and divert your energy from problems and conflicts, thereby reducing the expansion of conflicts.
In short, this book can help us find better ways to deal with difficult problems between men and women, so that we can live better together in marriage.
The Game of Love
The second book is called "The Game of Love", written by the just-mentioned Robert Gottman.
This book is different from "Exchange of Love". It mainly talks about recognition between lovers and brings all relevant and reliable answers to the relationship between husband and wife. The creator believes that the most important thing for two people to come together and grow old is to trust each other.
In fact, in this book, there are many ways to get closer to each other again and reduce disputes.
For example, the basic theory of the Guttman-Rapoport grand plan proposed by the creator believes that we should hold a weekly family meeting to take turns expressing our opinions and focusing onIf you reply to the other party, this shows that both of us trust each other, thereby reaching an agreement and getting closer to each other.
In addition, this book will also provide you with psychological guidance. In this book, the creator gives a definition of depression shaping: everyone focuses on interpreting the meaning of depression in neutral or even positive things.
For example, if your wife earns more than you, this is not a negative thing at all. Think about it. The greater the wife's income, the greater the family income.
This is something neutral, even something positive! With this thought, your inferiority complex will be much lower.
True Happiness
The third book is called "True Happiness" and was written by George Seligman, the father of positive psychology.
Happiness is the ultimate ideal of the public, and it is the goal and pursuit of many people. Don’t think that today’s society is more impetuous. We always pursue fame and fortune, but what they ultimately pursue is happiness, in other words, the path and method to make themselves happy.
The author wrote this book list just to help us gain happiness.
This book is mainly composed of three parts: What is happiness? Why pursue happiness? What can I do to be happy?
The creator used a lot of psychological knowledge and easy-to-understand language expressions to write each part in depth. I firmly believe that after reading it, you will have a feeling of enlightenment.
In this book, the author provides you with a happiness formula, H=S C V, that is, the persistence of happiness = the category of happiness and the controllable elements of the daily living environment.
The category of happiness, in short, is the innate factors you are born with, which determine the upper limit and limit of your happiness.
Daily life environment, such as economic status, social media status, etc., can affect a person's satisfaction to a certain extent; self-controllable factors are actually your behavior, which is also the focus of this book .
How to control your behavior and live a better life? The Creator has given many methods, the most representative of which are the three major laws of happiness, which are actually the "plug-in laws of happiness": let the past and future not depend on your own imagination, and grasp the happiness of the moment.
These three rules for obtaining happiness will guide you to refute your own positions of ‘I am a loser’ and ‘I feel particularly ashamed’, help you eliminate your inferiority complex and obtain happiness.
Moreover, this book can not only specifically guide two people in their married life towards happiness, but it is also universal. In other words, as long as you want to do what is often said in the book, you will have a high probability of happiness and success in your married life, in the workplace, and in society.
Intimate Partner
The fourth book "Intimate Partner" is written by Maggie, an excellent and authoritative expert in marital psychology. Scarf.
ThisThis book tells how a marriage relationship is formed, how it changes over time, and how lovers should get along at each stage.
"Intimate Partner" aims to connect people into marriage, have children, become independent from children, and enter old age.
According to the differences and problems that lovers will encounter at each stage, it provides corresponding interpretations and scientific and reasonable coping strategies. It can be said to be a textbook on love and marriage.
The basic theories and methods in this book are not only instructive for people who are currently experiencing marital problems, but also provide you with many effective methods if you want to stay happily with your partner. method. Worth reading.
Before writing this book, the creator visited more than 200 couples and interviewed some of the people involved in detail. Therefore, there are many real examples in this book, and there is even an example in each chapter and section for your reference.
Through this real example, the creator explains the generation mechanism of intimate relationships based on the specific content of social psychology and other disciplines, and reveals the disputes and problems between lovers with detailed information and objective facts. the essence of.
As the explanation gradually advances, the creator gives many ways to solve the problem, allowing people to rethink marriage and family. At the same time, by learning and training the methods introduced by the author, you can create a satisfactory marriage relationship for yourself.
You don’t need to see words like ‘data information’ and ‘course content’ to feel that this book is a difficult book to understand. The writer's literary talent is very good, and every example is as vivid as a collection of novels. It is very comfortable and enjoyable to read.
However, the book is over 400 pages long. When you first get this book, you may think it is thick. However, after you read all the way to the first chapter, you expect the book to be as tough as possible.
If you also want to improve your relationship as a couple, why not read these books? I believe they will also give you great inspiration.
