When I learned that a girl had a crush on me, I thought it would be a wonderful start. The relationship never materialized but never moved forward, or even she suddenly started to ignore you. What is the reason for this situation?
1. Girls lose their sense of security
Usually this happens to boys who are in pretty good condition and are prone to “falling in love at first sight”. Some boys' conditions are too good and there are too many girls around them, which makes girls lose their sense of security.
In this case, even if she has a crush on you, she will also have concerns about your relationship, start to avoid you, and give you a feeling of "the two of you were really good, but she suddenly doesn't like you." "I am" illusion. In fact, she still likes you, but she deliberately avoids you because she doesn't feel safe and is worried that you two won't be able to be together.
If you want to change this situation, you can appropriately improve your "availability" and let the other person understand that it is possible for you to be together.
For example, in front of girls, you don’t need to pay as much attention to dressing up as you did when you first met; appropriately reduce frequent contact with other members of the opposite sex to show your dedication to feelings, etc.
2. Boys make the mistake of "responding to affection with confession"
There is such a fact in love :
When a boy feels that a girl is conveying good feelings to him, if the boy responds by expressing his feelings, in the end, the girl will often lose her favor with the boy.
To put it bluntly, when you think a girl may like you, if you respond to her "I like you too", she will not like you.
It’s not easy to understand, because our first instinct must be, “Isn’t this a good thing when two people are in love and express their feelings to each other?”
You know, respond with confession. To have a good impression, you need to consider the following two situations:
1. If a girl is just testing you, but you misjudge her into a good impression, it will expose your need for "you like her".
At the same time, even if she has a certain fondness for you, when she sees "she just slightly revealed her fondness for you, and you show that you can't wait", you have "lost it" to her. Challenging", your favorability will be greatly reduced.
2. Even if a girl really likes you, when she sees "you express your feelings after she expresses your feelings," she will feel that "you don't like her as much as she does you." degree of liking”.
In the end, she came to the conclusion that "you don't like her that much", and this created a knot in her heart, which is extremely detrimental to the development of a long-term relationship.
Therefore, if you don’t want a girl to lose interest in you too quickly, don’t respond to your affection with confession.
You can also "respond to good feelings with good feelings" and respond to her the way she treats you, such as chatting more frequently and caring more about the other person. You can't go wrong with this.
3. Attraction is insufficient
The exposure effect in psychology shows that the relationship between people The favorability between people will first increase and then decrease as the contact time and frequency increase.
In the past, the reason why girls had a crush on you must be that you had some excellent qualities. And when she expresses her affection for you, she actually wants to see more of your excellent qualities.
In other words, when a girl is attracted to you, she has high expectations and fantasies about you. All your interactions at this stage are joyful.
If you can successfully let her see more of your advantages in subsequent contacts, your relationship will definitely get better and better in the future;
But if When you first get acquainted, if you show her everything about you, or if she thinks that's all you have, she will be disappointed in you.
As a girl gets to know you better and she discovers that you think differently from her, she will naturally like you less and less, and eventually she doesn’t like you anymore.
