Question:
Hello, tutor, I fell in love with a girl at a friend’s party, and then she added her to WeChat through a friend’s introduction. It’s been a month since we’ve known each other. She would take the initiative to chat with me every month. I thought it was the right time to invite her, but I asked her out three times and was rejected.
The first time I refused, she said she was a little worried. The second time, she said she had something to do. The third time, she ended up going out with her friends. Then I asked her what about next week? She also said next week. Weeks can be busier.
After these several invitations, she is now relatively cool in chatting. How should I ask her to make her agree?
Answer:
Hello brother, after reading your description, I can only say that you still only understand the purpose of chatting, but not the true meaning of chatting.
There are two simple meanings of chatting:
Meaning 1: Both men and women establish attraction and develop a good impression of each other
In your case, this has been achieved Yes, so the girl will take the initiative to chat with you at first.
Meaning 2: Both men and women establish a sufficient sense of security and familiarity
You have not done enough in this regard, so you cannot make a date
You have passed I added a girl to a friend gathering, so you must have paid attention to her. So you have established a certain sense of familiarity and security with this girl from the beginning. When you saw her, you judged from your intuition that this girl is a good girl, so you dare to date her and want to date her. .
But she may not have paid attention to you, so think about it from your perspective, if there is a girl you have never seen who takes the initiative frequently She wants to date you, but I have only seen her profile picture, and there are no photos of her image or life in her circle of friends. She also said that she would treat you to a luxurious meal and do many interesting things.
Do you dare to agree at this time? Will you worry that this girl is a liar?
So, what you have to do is to let her know better what kind of person you are. , understand your living situation, understand your real daily life, and fill this layer of security and familiarity, invite her, and she will agree.
Based on your situation, you can start from two aspects:
The first aspect is to chat
Your topic can start from "self" "Real life" was used as a topic to talk about. For example, talking about your interests and hobbies, things happening around you, and your circle of friends can help girls get to know you in all aspects again.
The second aspect is display
Display through the circle of friends, such as the bits and pieces of life, the image, the circle of friends is updated once a week, along with their own appearance, so that girls can be moreGet to know you.
There is another way to show yourself, which can be done through voice. For example, when chatting occasionally, you can use a voice note to reply to a girl to make her familiar with your voice.
The above two aspects are actually serving the "sense of security and familiarity". After doing the above things, girls will feel safe enough and agree to your invitation.
In your case, after the girl refused three times, you continued to ask the girl, "Do you have time next week?"
Obviously the problem now is not that the girl has no time, but that the girl has no time. The reason mentioned above is that the sense of familiarity and security is not enough.
So now you are anxious to make an appointment with a girl next week. The girl will most likely refuse, and maybe if your sense of need is exposed too much, you will become very passive and give up the initiative. Girls, if we do this, girls will become more and more indifferent and will habitually reject our invitations.
Moreover, if you ask a girl "Are you free next week?", this kind of invitation is a direct invitation, and it is difficult for a girl to agree if she doesn't know whether she is free next week. She will passively choose to refuse and push away.
If the situation reappears at that time, then when the girl rejects your third invitation, you should not ask her "What about next week?", you should take the initiative and directly lead and say " Then let’s do it this Wednesday.” Direct confirmation is more attractive than hesitation, and it’s hard for girls to reject you multiple times.
That matter has passed. If you want to make an appointment later, the invitation method that is suitable for you is actually a "vague invitation"
For example, change it to "If I have time next week, I will take you to eat delicious food~"
The advantage of vague invitations is that we will leave some space for girls when we invite them. Space and leave steps; subliminal communication is to tell girls that if they have time, go ahead. If they don’t have time, I won’t force it.
There is also a more upgraded vague invitation. Subtle communication can tell girls that it doesn’t matter even if they don’t make an appointment, because I may have other things, or other girls, so the price will not be reduced or embarrassed if the girl refuses the invitation.
If you want to have the upgrade effect, you need to add a reply
The beginning is the same, after sending a vague invitation to the girl, "If I have time next week, I will take you to eat delicious food." Yeah.”
Girls may say, “Well, we’ll see later.”
At this time, we are saying, “Well, I actually don’t know if my friend has any special activities. See you then."
