If you find that your wife is always chatting ambiguously with others, you must take some measures, otherwise the consequences will be disastrous if it continues. What measures can be taken?
It is recommended that you take the following three steps:
1. Talk to your wife about this matter and see what her attitude is towards the fact that you think she has an affair.
If she says that the contact with that person is legitimate, she feels that you are making a fuss, going above and beyond, and interfering too much with her.
Then, you have to pay attention. No matter whether your wife has an affair with that ambiguous person or not, she has betrayed you.
Why do you say this? Because in a healthy marriage, the relationship between husband and wife is higher than the relationship between the husband or wife and any third party outside the marriage.
To put it simply, your wife will put your feelings and needs in the most important position. If a third party outside of marriage comes into contact with her and makes you feel uncomfortable or even threatened, she will do it for you. You adjust the way you contact the third person outside the marriage, instead of ignoring your feelings and emphasizing that your contact with the third person outside the marriage is legitimate.
Most people do not understand the definition of "betrayal" in marriage, and believe that an affair is considered betrayal.
But in fact, betrayal means that your partner knows that doing something will make you sad, but she still does it ;
And he turns a blind eye to your sadness and disappointment, does not take active measures to eliminate the misunderstandings and barriers between husband and wife, and allows the relationship between husband and wife to become no longer close.
In other words, if your wife denies that her behavior is harmful to you, denies your feelings, and still insists on going her own way, this is an act of betrayal.
If you choose to ignore or tolerate these small betrayals, these small betrayals will continue to accumulate in the future, eventually triggering serious betrayal and marital crisis.
2. Talk to your wife about how the betrayal happened
Here I need to emphasize one point first, that is Betrayal is not as terrible as everyone thinks. It does not mean that once it happens, it will only accumulate until it leads to more serious betrayal.
Whether betrayal will bring serious consequences depends on how the couple handles the betrayal. Turning a blind eye will cause rifts in the relationship between the couple.
But if betrayal is used as an opportunity to understand each other and adjust interactions, the couple will become closer.
So, how to actively deal with betrayal?
That is, after seeing the betrayal, do not blame her, do not distinguish between right and wrong, and do not make sense, but let her Understand what her behavior or attitude hurt you, and sue herTell her how you feel, and then the couple can communicate clearly how the betrayal happened and find out the reasons behind it.
For example, if you think your wife is having an affair with someone, but your wife says it is normal social interaction, you can communicate with her like this:
"The way and frequency of contact between you and him makes me I’m very uneasy. I’m worried that our marriage will have problems because of this incident. But you don’t pay attention to my feelings. I don’t know if you think I shouldn’t worry or for other reasons. Can we talk about it?”
No matter what the other party answers, you should not refute it, but record what she expressed.
Her expression can help you get a lot of useful information, such as which of her emotional needs are not fully satisfied by marriage, whether the interaction she desires and the spiritual support she expects are being met. You ignored it, wait.
Through this information, it can help you see where the weak links in your marriage are and where potential third parties can easily take advantage of them.
3. Develop a cooperative response with your wife
Based on your wife’s motivation for dating this ambiguous object, you You can propose your desired solution to your wife, but you need to do it based on the principle of benefiting both parties, so that she will be more willing to cooperate with you in making adjustments.
Finally, to sum up, if your wife has an ambiguous chat partner, it can be a big or small matter, it all depends on how you deal with it. "Tolerance" and "quarrel" are both bad choices. Not only will they not solve the problem, they will also make you The marriage is further pushed to the brink of crisis.
