Many boys are usually good at chatting, but once they are in front of a girl they like, they become nervous and dare not speak. Therefore, they have been single to this day. What should we do in this situation?
1. Don’t care about other people’s opinions
In fact, people have Inferiority is not a big problem. Each of us has something that we are not satisfied with. It can be said that no matter how confident people are, they have a little bit of inferiority complex hidden in some small corners of their hearts. However, some people know how to hide their inferiority complex and are good at self-regulation. They can easily keep themselves in a normal state. Although you try to be cautious when getting along with others, others will not treat you with more kindness because of your humility and restraint, and girls will not treat you with more tenderness because of your humility and restraint. Being humble and reserved will only make some people think that you are weak and can be bullied, and that there is something to be gained from you and they will become hostile to you, including the girl you like. Only when you face and accept your shortcomings and deficiencies, and find ways to change them instead of avoiding them, can you truly build self-confidence.
2. Have a plan for the future
Many brothers have similar questions in their minds:
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“I feel like I can’t give her what she wants, and I don’t dare to develop further.”
“I even feel that she is at a disadvantage by following me, because she can find a better one. , so I always feel sorry for her.”
Every boy has had similar worries to some extent, especially after he really likes a girl, he always wants to give her the best. However, these brothers found out. If you are unable to do what you want, your mentality will inevitably become unbalanced. A person's greatest source of confidence is confidence, and most of a man's confidence comes from career and money, because this is your survival value and one of the main attractions. Your current career and income may not be ideal, but you must have a plan for the future and work toward that goal, believing that you will get better in the future. Once you have confidence in the future, those thoughts that troubled you before, such as "she will suffer a loss if she follows me" and "I can't give her what she wants" will no longer bother you.
3. Try to use reward mode to talk to girls
Most boys are chatting with girls. Sometimes, the two modes of "requesting" and "giving" are used. For example, when exchanging information in the early stage, the content of the chat was nothing more than "asking girls for information" and "providing girls with their own information." When we improve our relationship, what we do is nothing more than "submitting our own value to girls" and "letting girls provide value for themselves." Our conversation style is straightforward, you come and go, and we exchange opinions..
Of course, this is not to say there is anything wrong with this way of chatting. In fact, this is the most basic operation of our chatting. Since it is a basic mode, there is naturally a more efficient way to advance, and that is: reward mode. That is to say, in chat conversations, we can communicate what we "give" and "get" in a mutually rewarding mode. For example, in the exchange mode, if you want to ask a girl for her name, you must first tell her your own name, or provide her with other valuable information, and then exchange for her right to tell you her name. If a boy is not confident enough and thinks he is not important enough, he will feel that what he "gives" and the girl's "return" are not equal to each other in the "exchange" dialogue mode, and thinks that what the girl gives back to him is The value is greater than the value of what you pay, which is why our brothers always feel guilty in front of girls. But in the reward mode, you can give the girl what you plan to pay in the form of prizes, or you can take what you want to get from her in the form of prizes.
For example: If you want to invite a girl on a date, then "getting the girl to agree to date you" is your need. A girl's promise to you is the value she gives you. Don't directly ask a girl if she wants to go out to have a meal with you. For such a direct invitation, the girl will consider whether to accept or not because of your purpose. Once rejected, it will be a blow to your mentality. You can talk to the girl about another thing first, and then make a bet. If she wins, you can treat her to dinner as a reward. In this way, the girl won't be resistant because you didn't invite her intentionally. Without that kind of purpose, she won't resist. Even if you refuse, the girl's reason for rejecting you is related to the bet, and your mentality will not be hit because of "rejection of a special invitation." This means that no matter what the outcome is, you will not suffer losses this way. If you win, the girl will express her depression to you, and you can say: "It's okay, how about I treat you to a meal to relieve your anger." Now you treat "treating her to a meal" in the form of a prize If you give it out, does this give you a very reasonable reason for an invitation? This chat mode can effectively bypass your feelings of guilt in front of the girl you like and interact with her in a normal state of mind.
So if you are not confident enough in front of girls and can’t speak, you might as well try using this “reward mode” to chat with girls.
