It’s normal to expose a sense of need when chasing a girl. Just because you like someone, you will have this different kind of affection for her. But having too strong a sense of need will only reduce your attractiveness, make the other person feel pressured, and ruin the relationship you have worked so hard to build.

Give a specific example.

For example, when a boy says to a girl, "I like you, please be my girlfriend":

The boy will think that he is just "expressing his love" to the other person. ", and girls will understand it as "he needs me."

It is evolutionary psychology and differences in growth trajectories that lead to this misunderstanding, making girls have a higher awareness of self-protection than boys.

Therefore, the "sense of need" is destined to become a stumbling block in your pursuit.

A man who has needs is called "responsive to every request" and will be manipulated by girls in every aspect of his relationship.

Men who have no needs, "have no desires but are strong", and are invincible in the process of chasing girls.

In short, if we express a strong sense of need from the beginning, girls will be wary of us due to various concerns.

All your actions will appear to her to be "purposeful", and the relationship between the two will stagnate. Chasing girls with too much need will almost never bring good results.

Now let’s talk about how the sense of need leads to these bad results. I hope you can be inspired by it.

1. Easy to misunderstand

An excessive sense of need will lead us to misjudge the relationship.

For example, under normal circumstances, if an ordinary girl asks you for help or takes the initiative to chat, you won’t think much about it.

But if this girl is replaced by a girl you like, you will most likely mistakenly think that she also has a crush on you.

If you don’t believe me, you can substitute it. Think about the person you like the most. Does she feel related to you even if she posts in Moments?

When a misunderstanding occurs, it is natural for you to go and confess your feelings to the girl. But she may not be ready for this relationship.

If you are lucky, she will also have a good impression of you and agree to try dating for a while; but in most cases, you will not get the desired results.

2. Easily moved by ourselves

The strong sense of need drives us to do a lot of meaningless things. It is easy to fall into self-impression when things happen.

There is a very vivid metaphor: a girl likes apples, but she doesn’t tell you, but you guess that she will like bananas, so you give them to her.A cart of bananas.

Then I thought, "I've done this to you. If it were 'I chase myself' and chased you back and forth several times, why are you still indifferent?"

This is it. In psychology, if you pay too much attention to your own feelings, you will ignore the feelings of the other person.

We are blinded by our own sense of need and fail to take care of the other person’s real needs.

What's more, "people's joys and sorrows are not the same". The rain in your heart pours down, but it can't get her hair wet in the end.

3. Easily get confused

An excessive sense of need will make you lose patience. Eager to prove himself to girls, he makes mistakes at critical moments.

For example, when chatting with girls, the topic "What kind of boys do you like" comes up.

Some girls will say, "I like tall boys" or "I like boys who are nice to me."

At this time, as someone who likes her, you must not be able to help but take the right position.

Say things like "I'm not short either", "Am I not good to you", "What do you think of me?"

We "pretend to be confused" and leave the decision-making power of the relationship to the other party. As mentioned before, even if it succeeds, it is a small probability event.

In fact, the promotion of a relationship is "only when things come naturally". The person who takes the initiative to break the window in the relationship is tantamount to giving the other party a chance to refuse.

Boys excessively pursue the ritual sense of "establishing a relationship", which in many cases becomes the biggest obstacle for two people to be together.