When it comes to the most hurtful thing in a relationship, the first thing that many people think of is cheating. However, the most hurtful thing in a relationship is not cheating, but unintentional words and deeds.
When partners get along, it is inevitable that one party will have some unintentional words and deeds. For example, at a certain moment, we will capture Your partner may look unhappy, but after a while he will feel better again.
But everyone has some emotional pain points that cannot bear to be touched. They are particularly sensitive. Once they are poked, they will immediately trigger an emotional out-of-control. In this case, some people will start to behave aggressively. For example, yelling at your partner or throwing things to vent your anger.
What exactly is this "emotional pain" and where does it come from?
Emotional pain is a person's emotional feeling of being deprived and abandoned. This This feeling comes from the person's attachment relationship from the past to the present. It is a sensitive reaction accumulated when a person's attachment needs are constantly ignored, ignored, and rejected.
These sensitivities often arise from trauma in our past relationships with significant others.
"Important others" refer first to parents, who gave us the earliest understanding of love, and also include brothers. sisters and other family members, and of course close partners past and present.
People’s emotional pain does not necessarily come from memories of past injuries. They may also arise from current relationships.
Even if you are currently in a happy marriage, if you feel emotionally deprived or abandoned, you may still have emotional pain, such as not getting what you need at a critical moment when you urgently need the support of your partner. of response.
Therefore, if you want a long-lasting relationship, you must learn to pay attention to the other person's pain points when you get along, and remind yourself to give the other party some positive responses. In this way, even if the other person's pain points are triggered, the emotional explosion will occur. will also be significantly reduced.
But if you still poke the other person's sensitive sore spots unconsciously, the other person will gradually stop trying to establish a connection with you. The relationship between them will become cold and alienated, causing the communication between the two parties to decrease day by day, and the marriage will be completely frozen as it develops.
If your partner is irritable and gets angry after just a little communication, and you don’t know why or what to do, add , send me a private message about your situation and I will analyze it for you.
